A message to Hollywood

Are you drawn to Hollywood? Do you dream of walking the red carpet, while millions of fans scream your name? Do you want to be a singer? A model? A director? Then there is a good chance you are a target, your "dream" is implanted and the world you want to enter will end up causing you so much pain.

The anxiety, knowing it could all end at any time, committing the unforgivable sin of ageing (if you are a woman), a public who think they own you and so lovers or haters they get to pick apart everything you say/ do/ wear/ believe and they better approve of it all, or else.

I once read through part of the celebrity archive on a website called Bitter Waitress: all stories posted by wait staff. I read several stories about Cameron Diaz, all positive; she was polite, friendly, no star ego. Then I read a story that was very different. A woman posted how Diaz came into the establishment where she worked, with a friend. She was upset and looked to have been crying. She didn't speak and kept her eyes down as her friend ordered for both of them. The poster wrote how she was furious at Diaz for "ignoring" her; how she wanted to slap her and demand acknowledgement. Did this waitress normally demand every person in a group that came in acknowledge/ speak to her? Did she want to slap them if they didn't? Or was she just glad to have one person who ordered quickly for the group so she could move on to her next customers?

I once saw a photo of Nicole Kidman arriving at a premiere. She was wearing a sheath dress and had her hair in a high ponytail. She looked so great that I, someone who had no interest in famous people, especially actors, tore the picture out of the newspaper and kept it. The paper had circled either her knuckles or the joints of her toes (can't remember which now) and the whole story was about how her joints were looking a little red and was something wrong with her??

You may dream of being famous but if it happens you don't get fame as you dream of it, when and how you want it; you get the whole wild tiger.

You may dream of gliding down the red carpet in a designer gown and jewels, perfect hair and make up. You are envied by some, adored by others. You look breathtaking. What about the other red carpets? What about when you have cramps, your dress is cutting into you, it's freezing cold (beware! your joints might look slightly red!) and you just want to be at home in your sweats with a hot cup of tea. What about the friends and even family members who will make a regular income selling stories about you? Former lovers and even people you barely knew writing books about you?

Do you know why celebs end up buying houses with bowling alleys, bars or movie screening rooms? It's not because it's so cool, it's because these are activities they enjoyed before fame, and can't after with the same anonymity they didn't value, before it was gone.

It doesn't sound like a life to be envied to me. There are other non fame professions where you can make a good wage. Maybe not as much as a movie star, but some money is too expensive.